In this blog post telling Myself a Different Story: A Memoir Counterfactual it focuses on the “what ifs’ in my memoir so what I’ve could’ve done to prevent or change what happened. I will use my imagination and possibility to make a new story based off something I could’ve done.
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While reading My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou) and Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) when Margret breaks her dish showing that she dose not care anymore and shes gives up it relates to my narrative scene on how at one point i gave up.
February 6th, 2019 a normal Wednesday is what I thought when I woke up. I got up for work at 6 am then got dressed and went to work. All day long it was raining so I was inside working in the dust and dirt. All I could think about was going home and taking a long hot shower. The hours went by quick because I stayed busy always doing something. I drove home and took that shower I was daydreaming about. When I got out of the shower, I had a text on Instagram from my friend asking if I was busy today. I replied and said, “No why wassup?” She then answered and said, “you should come hangout with me”. I told her” I’ll get dressed now and come when im ready”. She said, “Ok don’t be lying” and sent me her address. I knew where she lived, and I knew this wasn’t her street, so I asked, “where are u at?” She told me she was at her aunt’s house down the street, so I just said okay. I got dressed and put my new sweat suit on I just got with some new air forces 1s. I always had to look nice even for myself. I called a uber there because I didn’t want to drive because my license was suspended. When I was two minutes away, I told her I was there and for her to come out. She didn’t answer by the time I got there so I called her, and she didn’t answer. This was right in the projects, so I knew it was dangerous to just stand around. I walked down the end of the street and waited another five minutes then she called. She told me walk down the alley way to meet her on the street, but I just told her walk up it and meet me. I seen her and started walking towards her when I got close, she just turned around and kept walking and didn’t say anything. This made me say “what you not going to say nothing to me?” She said she was beefing with a lot of people then said, “do you have a gun?” I said “No why would you say that” Before she could say anything, I heard footsteps behind me, so I turned around and seen four people with masks and guns. One of them approached me and before they could say anything I said “You’re not getting shit” because I knew they where trying to rob me. They instantly started to lift up their guns and when I see them doing that, I knew I had to run. I ran only three or four steps before I felt the first shot all I could do is stumble to get up then I felt the second one which made me fall and slide into the street they kept shooting till there wasn’t anymore bullets. I didn’t know I was shot because I didn’t feel it then I spit and seen blood on the ground. I saw blood flowing from behind me and knew I was shot in my back the blood reminded me of how much time I had to live. I started to feel it right after that and told the girl to” call the ambulance”. She said, “I can’t my phone doesn’t work.” I turned over with all my strength and pulled my phone out and dialed 911. I told them I was shot but they couldn’t understand me because I was shot in my lung and my voice was very low. They understood me on third time saying it and said they where on there way. I was laying bleeding out and coughing up blood in so much pain I wanted to die. I closed my eyes because my body was telling me to die and I let it overcome me. I died in the ambulance and came back to life two times fighting to get my life back. Throughout eight hours of surgery I lost twice the amount of blood the body can hold, I lost my left kidney, about 80% of my left lung, some of my pancreas, some of my liver, a piece of my spine and a lot of my intestines. I woke up paralyzed on the surgery table with my eyes taped shut. I could feel them digging inside of my body and the pain was unbelievable. I kept thinking I was dead, but the pain made me knew I was alive, and it kept me awake. I felt them cleaning my body off and heard them talk about transferring me to the ICU. They picked me up and I felt all warm and felt relief it had to be medicine they gave me, but I fell asleep. I woke up to my mom and dad IN front of me and I looked at them and they came over and held my hand and asked me “do you know what happened” I tried to shake my head yea but I had so man tubes in me I couldn’t move. They knew that I knew, and I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I can’t believe I survived. Welcome back! For this week's post, I had to read and annotate three articles discussing the writing process. I had to create a scene where I discuss writing with writers Don Murray, Anne Lamott, and Mary Karr, using three quotes from each of their articles. I made up this story through what I’ve read about the writers and what I would think the conversation would be like. The three links below are to the writings I read to make this story.
Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) Against Vanity: In Praise of Revision (Mary Karr) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life | pp. 28 -34 | Short Assignments & Shitty First Drafts (Anne Lamott) It was a nice summer day in the middle of July when I was with my friends Don, Anne and Mary. We were discussing about our plans for the day, so we just decided to go to the ice cream shop and hangout. We discussed about expressing feelings and emotions through writing a lot. Don always said, “once you can look at your composition program with the realization you are teaching a process, you may be able to design a curriculum which works.” This made me think about how writing effects other people other than yourself. I told him “writing does teach a process but also a story from many different views”. He then told me “the writing process itself can be divided into three stages: prewriting, writing, and rewriting. Prewriting is everything that takes place before the first draft. Prewriting may include research and daydreaming, note-making and outlining, title-writing and lead-writing. Writing is the act of producing a first draft.” Anne then stepped in to say “you need to start somewhere. Start by getting something--anything-down on paper. A friend of mine says that the first draft is the down draft--you just get it down. The second draft is the up draft--you fix it up. And the third draft is the dental draft, where you check every tooth, to see if it’s loose or cramped or decayed.” Anne and Don opened my eyes about the writing process by breaking it down into a three-step process. I told them both “writing takes a lot of mental concertation and thinking deep inside your creativity.” Mary stated you should “let your mind roam down some alleys that may lead to dead ends--that’s the nature of the process.” I agreed with her because that is a big step in creating a good writing. Anne than responded by saying, “the only way I can get anything written is to write really, really shitty first drafts.” Don told her, “what works one time may not another. All writing is experimental.” Then he said, “when you complete a draft you know how much, and how little, you know.” This sparked a thought in my head and made me realize “writing is really just a way of teaching yourself the process to make your mind stronger in writing and the more and more you do it becomes easier.” I told my friends that writing is hard for me because I never have an idea of what im writing about or how to start. Anne told me,” very few writers really know what they are doing until they’ve done it.” Mary then said “Even the smallest towns have coffee shop bulletin boards or community centers with a writer’s workshop now. Even the less good groups can help you by speaking for your potential reader - they’re way better than the echo chamber of your own head.” That conversation inspired me to be a better writer and trust the writing process. Everything they told me effected my mentality about writing and changed my perceptive about writing. |
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